Fear

I've been working on this post for the last few days, adding some here and there and then taking more out.  I went to Institute tonight and found out that I really needed to be there because this is what we talked about...

There is one trial in my life that I am constantly working against...fear.  There have been quite a few things that I have not done or have put off doing because of fear and it bugs me so much.  I've realized this more and more over the last ten years or so and I've focussed on identifying and controlling this fear, I've come a very long way.  I don't know where or how some fears start but they do.  I struggle the most when it involves other people whether it be a conversation or a relationship.  I try to hide it, I think I'm successful most of the time.  I hide it mostly for myself because if I'm not seeing the fear, it won't bother me as much.

Institute was based around the stories of Esther and Job, the fears they had to face and the decisions they made in spite of the fear.  It made me think of many things, but mostly that if they could face the fears they faced, I can take care of the small things around me especially because they can do so much good.

Right now, I feel as though Satan is trying to shove as much at me as he can because he's trying to stop me from doing something important...not sure what, but if he's trying this hard it must be something good.