Grilled Cheese

The paper is done!!!  I had to whittle two pages off of it which was quite the adventure.  I even had a co-worker take a look at it to see if she could find anything I could take out and after she read it, she just looked at me, shook her head, and said good luck.  It was a very strategic edit.  It's all submitted (with little to no time to spare) and now I can get back to everything I have been putting off doing because of it. Don't worry, I'll still post random thoughts even though I don't have anything to postpone or procrastinate or take a break from.  In fact...here's a story that my roommate loves to tell and has come up quite a bit lately.  I guess it's time to share it...

A few years ago I was spending quite a bit of time with a guy named Jeff.  We weren't dating but we were getting pretty close, so it was one of those awkward times where you like spending time with each other but don't quite know what's going on or what the other person is thinking.  Anyways, we had spent the last couple of days doing random things and then it was Friday.  I had gotten home from work, hadn't heard from Jeff that day and we hadn't made plans at all so I figured, after being home for at least an hour or two, that it would be pretty safe to say that I wasn't going to do anything with Jeff that night and I was starving so I ate two grilled cheese sandwiches and was contemplating a third.   Now these were full-sized sandwiches, I was really hungry and for those of you who don't know me and my stomach, I can really pack it in.  After eating, I got a phone call from Jeff asking if I'd eaten dinner yet as he would like to take me out to eat something.  Now here I had to make a pretty quick decision, I had already eaten but I also really wanted to see Jeff so I told him that I had "munched on a couple of things".  He asked if he could come over and pick me up, I asked for twenty minutes.  We ended up going to Fazolis (it's about as fast food as Italian could get).  We each got a meal (he had a coupon) and started eating.  I thought I was doing pretty good as I ate half of the meal plus a ton of breadsticks.  He then asked if I was ok because I wasn't eating very much.  Again, I had to make a quick decision, do I tell him that I had already eaten a good-sized meal?  I opted with looking at him with my head slightly cocked to one side and a small smile saying, "I'm real little."  I figured I didn't want to explain everything or hurt his feelings in any way and if things turned out with this guy that I would eventually tell him what really happened.  Things didn't go much further after that and I haven't talked to Jeff in years, so he still thinks I'm a light to medium eater and anyone who has eaten dinner with me just laughs at the story.

So, there you go.  A random story from my life that not too many have had the pleasure of hearing until tonight.

15 Pages?!?!?!

I'm still working on my paper (I'm just taking a little break right now).  This is for the PAEMST so it's been quite the interesting experience.

For those of you that are new, I first started this adventure two and a half years ago.  When I first heard about the application process, I had to seriously think if I wanted to go through with it all.  I had an amazing group of people supporting me (and I didn't have very much going on in my day to day life) so I figured why not?  The resume wasn't too bad as I had just written one for my masters portfolio so it just needed to be tweaked a bit.  The lesson to be videoed was also tweaked from my masters portfolio, ok so a little more than just "tweaked", I took the idea and souped it up into an awesome lesson.  The guy who nominated me for the whole thing had a professional videographer with all of the special equipment come in to record it.  It was a pretty big deal.  The letters of recommendation wouldn't be too hard as one had to come from my principal (who thinks I'm awesome and pretty smart), another I got the guy who nominated me (who also thinks I'm awesome and really smart, it also may have helped that he used to work for the state office and helped to write the science core I taught), and the third I had my co-workers write together (they know I'm amazing).  The biggest issue with the application for me was the 15-page paper I would have to write about my video and my teaching.  I thought, "15 pages?!?!  How am I supposed to write that much?!!!"  It all worked out.  I even used a part of the written portion of my masters portfolio for the paper.  After writing about how good I was, I started to think, "15 pages?!?!  That's all they're giving me?!?!"

I ended up being one of two state finalists for the award.  I went to a couple of banquets and enjoyed some nice dinners.  In the end, I didn't win, but I was almost grateful for it because after attending the banquets and seeing the other finalists (some were for math, I was for science), I realized that I haven't done nearly as much as they had in their careers.  I also realized that I probably wouldn't enjoy going to the seminars and workshops for the winners even if they were in Washington DC.

That brings us to now.  The PAEMST cycles back and forth between secondary and elementary teachers and this year brought a new opportunity to try applying again.  After the last time, I figured I should wait a cycle or two before reapplying, but the dude at the state office over the whole thing and my principal had other things in mind.  I think they were working together to try and convince me to try again this year.   I told them I would if I could reuse my video from the previous application as the rules state that everything has to be from the current school year, so low and behold, the rule changed this year and I could resubmit the same video.  My principal nominated me.  I figured everything is basically done so why not?  I tweaked my resume some more, actually a lot.  I decided to just go full bore and show them what I got!  The only problem was that I only could use two pages.  Two pages?!?!  I'm too awesome for two pages!  I got it all to fit and had to decide what was the most important and most impressive.  If I ever have to find a new job, my resume is freakin' amazing!  The letters of recommendation were rewritten, mostly just the date.  The video was resubmitted.  Now I'm just working on the paper and I'm thinking, "15 pages?!?!  How am I going to rewrite 15 pages?!?!"  I've been using a lot of different color text and highlights to help me out.  I was given the scores from my last submission so I feel as though I have the inside scoop and I've been pinpointing everything they suggested I lacked discussion or examples.  I've probably read through the thing at least ten times.  The problem is that I now have 17 pages...how are you supposed to cut two entire pages?!?!  I've definitely seen the fluff I added two years ago so that's now on its way out, but I still have two pages too many.  I'm glad this paper didn't win two years ago, I mean it was pretty good and all, but I'm not just pretty good, I'm amazing!  So now, "15 pages?!?!  I'm too awesome for just 15 pages!"

If anything, I will come away from this whole process being reminded of how amazing I am and all of the great things I have done whether the nation sees it or not!

Spanish

I can speak Spanish...there...I said it.  My roommates would say that I just removed a bushel (apparently I "hide" facts about myself or talents I have from others, those are called bushels, really no one ever asks me about them so they don't find out about them until it comes up in conversation).  The whole second language thing just isn't something that comes out in a regular conversation with most of my friends.  I also have a hard time saying that I "speak" Spanish because I am really out of practice.

I learned Spanish in high school.  I took four years including AP Spanish my senior year and also passed the AP test.  I used Spanish quite a bit in California, it was very handy when I worked at my grandparents' store and even around town on occasion.  I spent a year taking classes at the junior college at home and decided to take a break from Spanish then when I went away for college, I took one semester of Spanish to fulfill a language requirement.  I haven't taken any classes in many years so I'm surprised at how much I do remember.  I translated for a student in my second teaching cohort and then translated for some parent-teacher conferences my first year teaching, other than that, I don't speak much Spanish. I used to read books and watch some TV and movies in Spanish, but now I'm lucky if I catch most of the words.

Quite a few people have recently discovered my Spanish comprehension.  I usually just listen to others' conversations and pretend I don't hear what they're saying, it's quite informative.  Lately, it's come in handy relaying information to one person in a group without the others knowing what is said.  I have to admit, it's also entertaining to see people's faces when I just bust out some Spanish.

I like to talk to inanimate objects in Spanish, like when I can't find my shoes or keys (don't worry, they don't ever respond).  I also talk to myself in Spanish, I never have a language barrier there.  I find when thinking in another language, I get a better perspective because I have to think about my words more.  I admit, I freak out a bit when my school asks me to translate, especially over the phone.

My roommate and another friend have also recently discovered that I am much more open to give out information if they have me explain it in Spanish.  Don't worry, I don't give other people's secrets away, just my own.  Not sure why a different language makes it easier to spill my guts, but it's almost like I'm not saying it because my ears don't hear it in English so it must not be coming out.  Or maybe it's because I'm too focussed on trying to translate all the words that I'm not thinking about what I'm telling others.  Don't get too many ideas, I still have a filter and won't share the stuff that really matters with the people I really don't want to know.

So, there you go.  More random thoughts by Julie.  Stay tuned the rest of the week, I'll be working on my paper and will be looking for ways to put it off some more.  But for now, back to the paper!

Skittles

I'm supposed to be working on my PAEMST paper right now.  It's mostly done, I just need to tweak it.  Instead,  I've cleaned my room, finished the laundry, and now I'm blogging...about Skittles.

I like Skittles, they're one of my favorite candies.  I find it interesting that everyone has a different favorite or combination of favorite Skittles.  Mine are the red and green.  Purple is ok, but yellow and orange are just in the mix.  I like to balance out my flavors.  I pay attention to which color I'm eating and try to space all the flavors out so I don't get bored of one before the rest.  I make sure that my last Skittle eaten is red so I have a favorite flavor left in my mouth.

There really is more on my mind than just Skittles, although I did just buy a 1 lb. bag of them when I ran to the store today (they were on sale...and I wanted them).  I got a phone call today that was unexpected.  It wasn't the topic of the call that bothered me, it was the tone of voice from the person on the other side. I feel like I know this person fairly well and so I have a pretty good idea of what this person was feeling at the time, but I couldn't say or do anything about it.  At the same time, I'm trying not to assume anything because I've been burned by others making assumptions about me so I try not to repeat the offense.

Pensive Moments

So I find that there are times in my life that I end up thinking about a lot of different things.  I usually don't recognize it until I'm in the middle of one of those moments or even the middle of a series of days with pensive moments.  The people around me start to worry because they notice how quiet I'm being and then they start asking if I'm ok which usually surprises me since I haven't been paying much attention to things going on around me.  The thing is, it's usually hard to pinpoint exactly what I'm thinking about because it's usually a myriad of thoughts that are pulsing through my brain.  Here are a few of the topics gracing my mind this week:

* Change--There are definitely a lot of changes happening around me right now.  I'm in a very interesting situation in that most of the people I associate with are college students while I also hang out with my co-workers at school, so I get to deal with two end-of-the-schoolyears, my school and the local colleges.  With BYU and UVU ending winter semester soon, a lot of the people in my ward are moving.  I've been trying to keep track of who will still be around this summer and who I will need to replace in callings, I've decided to see who is left in a week.  Some are staying in the area and others are moving home for the summer, some I'll continue to see and others I'll probably never see again.  It's not that I'm really super close to all of them, it's just bringing something different.  My roommate, Aleisha, moved last week.  There is definitely a different feel to the apartment and I've lost one of my playmates.  With the end of the school year, some changes are happening with my co-workers.  Garrett will be a principal of another school next year and Adam will be a staff developer at a different school.  Alece and I will be getting a new co-worker in 6th grade and we don't know who it will be just yet, it's a bit nerve wracking at times (don't worry, I've put in a request for a single guy to teach with us).  Change is good, but it's also different.  I've had to deal with a lot of change in my life and with it came a lot of good things and a lot of lessons learned.

*Secrets--I find that people trust me for some reason.  I've been a secret keeper for many different friends.  Most times, it's hard to remember what I can say and what I can't say, so I usually just don't say anything.  Sometimes it's a bit more difficult.  At what point should a secret be revealed?  There have been a few tidbits of information that I've had that would relieve some emotional stress, pain or worry if revealed, but then I wouldn't be keeping a secret any more.  Sometimes just me knowing the information, I can then use that knowledge to help guide or sway others without ever revealing what I know.  Is that cheating?  I've also recognized that I keep a lot of my own secrets, not that I refuse to tell anyone, more that no one ever asks.  There have been a few people lately that have learned how to get me to spill my own beans and sometimes I am surprised when they do and what I share.

*Food--I really like to eat and I enjoy making food as well.  I've made quite a few pies lately and they have all been delicious!  Also, food is a way I socialize with people.  I invite boys over for pie, I chat with friends and roommates over dessert or dinner, I hang out with my family at lunch.

*The Future--I have a lot of possibilities in front of me right now.  There are quite a few things that could be different in the next few weeks or months and definitely in the next year.  I don't have control over most of those things, so I'm just hanging on for the ride.  Others, I have decisions to make.  There were a bunch of things I said I would never do and ended up doing them anyways--live in Utah, attend BYU, get my masters degree, teach for more than a few years, etc.  I guess this shows me that I don't always know what I want or what I should be doing, so why be surprised if things turn out differently than planned (because they usually do).

I hope you enjoyed this tiny corner of my mind.  Please come again!

Texas and Back

I am on my Spring Break! but it's also almost over and I feel like I just began to do nothing (which is what you should do when you're on a break, right?).  I was planning on working on cleaning my bedroom and tweaking my PAEMST application, but why do that when you can procrastinate by blogging?  Plus, I haven't posted anything in quite awhile and I know you've all been waiting to hear more from me.

Last Saturday, I started out on a drive to Texas to help Aleisha drive her car home.  It was a very nice and very long drive and I'm am glad that I got to spend some one-on-one time with Aleisha before she starts on her new journeys.  I am going to miss her terribly because I already do.

We decided to stop at Arches National Park along the way as neither of us had done any hiking there before.  It was a nice break in our car travels.

 Can you see me?

Aleisha!

The Parade of Elephants!  Can you tell they are elephants? 

After our bout of hiking, we continued on our way.  We cut through a corner of Colorado so we gave a shout out to our friend we call "Papa" and told him that his home state says hello (also to find out what color the highway patrol vehicles are...you know, just in case).  That night, we stopped in Albuquerque.  We ended up getting a room with a king sized bed instead of two doubles.  That bed was huge!  I don't think we bumped into each other at all that night and I know I was spread out (I'm used to sleeping by myself in a queen and I take full advantage of it!).

New Mexico is very flat and very boring.  I think they make you slow down to go through just so you have to spend more time there because you wouldn't if you didn't have to.  By Sunday afternoon/early evening, we were rolling into Aleisha's driveway.  It was very nice to be out of the car.

Monday we spent hiking in Dinosaur Valley State Park.  By this time, we both had fully embraced and adopted a bit of an accent as we spoke to each other.  On our way there, we totally missed our turn and stopped to ask for directions in the nearby town of Glen Rose.  It was very tiny, in fact, when we stopped to get directions and possibly a tourist map, the information place was closed and we were directed to the pie place two doors down for inquiries...it was also closed.  No worries, there was a map hanging in the window of the information place.  While trying to read the map, a very nice lady poked her out the door and asked what we were looking for and how she could help.  She gave us directions back out of town and then the way we came.  We were very confused when she started talking about the traffic signal down the street because we didn't so no traffic signal...she must've been talkin' 'bout the blinking yella' light on the corner.  We figured things out and headed on our way but were still confused at how we would've missed any signs for the park we was looking fer and then we started laughing our heads off because there was a giant dinosaur right where we needed to turn.  How do you miss a giant dinosaur when you're looking for Dinosaur Valley State Park?!?!  Don't worry we succeeded.  We blame it on the giant bush blocking our view from the direction we came.  We took a bit of time checking out the dinosaur footprints in the water before we set out on a hike.  Apparently, the giant dinosaur was just the beginning.  We were smart enough to grab a hiking map from the ranger station but either we had a lot of trouble reading it or there are a lot more trails out there than the rangers think there are!  That and we're pretty sure some signs were missing or relocated or something.  Don't worry, we just ended up doing the hike backwards and twice in some locations.  There were two of us reading the map so it must have been the trails.

All over Texas, the blue bonnets are blooming and they were pretty! I really do mean all over.  Along the freeways, in fields, state parks, gardens, etc.  We saw several people stopping to take pictures of themselves in the flowers so we had to get a few of me as well.  They're the state flower, so don't even think about picking any!

See the dino footprint?

Tuesday we spent up in Dallas at an eye appointment for Aleisha, it's a good thing I was around because she couldn't drive for awhile.  We also stopped at a store Aleisha always tells us about called Sam Moon.  It only has accessories like handbags, wallets, necklaces, and other jewelry.  It was huge!  I purchased a few items.  It was a good thing we got there about an hour before closing because we had enough time to buy what we really wanted and they kicked us out before we stayed too long and spent too much!  That night, we stopped at a famous BBQ place called Hard Eight.  That place was like heaven to me!  In case you didn't know, cow is one of my favorite foods and BBQ cow is even better.  The meat was delicious!  I can definitely see why people fly in just to eat there.  You pay by the pound and then sit inside where the napkins are rolls of paper towels sitting on the table with bags of loaves of bread are there for you to eat form as well.  I pretty much made out with my rib to make sure I got all of the meat off of it.  I would totally go there again.

Wednesday, we drove back to Dallas to drop me off at the airport to go back to Utah.  The flight wasn't too bad, a bit of turbulence, but not too bad.  My parents had come into town just before I left so they borrowed my car, they also flew out the day before me so it worked out perfectly for them to just leave my car at the airport.  I hung around the airport for a bit as a friend of mine was flying in after me.  I worked on finishing a book I had started on my flight in, it was enjoyable.  After gathering my friend, we drove into Salt Lake to meet some other friends at the Salt Lake Temple to do a session together.  It was very interesting as it was a live session.  Afterwards, I dropped one friend off in Taylorsville and took another one home just down the street from where I live.  It was nice to have time to talk to her as we hadn't had much of an opportunity lately and she is moving soon.  I finally got home that night around ten.

That night, I caught up with my roommates a bit and then decided to catch up on missed emails.  SinceI had been away, I had gotten out of the habit of just clicking the bookmark I have at the top of my browser for my email account and so I started typing in the address.  I got through the "hot" part of "hotmail" when my computer popped up some predictive websites, the first one being Papa's facebook page.  Apparently, my computer thinks that my friend, "Papa", is hot.  I told Papa of the experience the next day and he told me my computer is very wise.

Now that I am done with a little bit of procrastinating of my paper writing, maybe I'll go work on it some more...but most likely I won't, I'll find something else to catch my attention instead.