Cheese!

I think I may have blogged about this before, but it came up again tonight and I've been pondering it...

When I first started college, I always had people complimenting me on my smile.  It was just something they would mention and sometimes it would surprise me.  Of all the things that people would say to me, they would tell me I have a pretty smile and then tell others about it.  There was a counselor in one of my bishoprics that would always come talk to me because of my handshake (no dead fish here!) and then tell everyone else to shake my hand and to see my smile.  Well, there was a period in my life that I did not smile as much as I used to and I didn't notice at first.  The first thing that tipped me off was that I noticed that no one was mentioning my smile any more and that bugged me which made me realize that no one was mentioning it because no one was seeing it!  From then on, I made a conscious decision to smile more again.

Tonight I feel like I have finally been successful!  I went to my grandpa's wedding today (that's a story all in itself) and afterwards, at the reception, I was talking to some people in the other family.  After talking to one of the sons for a bit, he just randomly told me that I have a pretty smile.  I was somewhat shocked since I hadn't heard that in awhile, but at the same time, I was doing a little happy dance in my head.  I'm still working on getting better at smiling more often, but I'm glad to know that I'm doing something right!

BTW...don't be too worried that you won't hear from me in awhile...I'm busy.  It will be quite the post when I'm done!

Up, Up, and Away!

I was talking to Mr. T today and he asked me if I liked flying. I wasn't quite sure what to say because I really haven't given it much thought it's just something that I do on occasion to go home or to visit friends. I guess I don't dislike it. My favorite thing to do is to challenge myself to be the most pleasant traveler. I figure that everyone working in the airport or on the plane won't necessarily be able to fix things like weather, delays, or unpleasant people so why not try to make their day at work better any way that I can. It's amazing how much a smile, a good attitude or gracious point of view can affect others which then comes back affecting me and others in one way or another. I know what it's like having angry people to work with especially when I didn't do anything to cause it and I can't do anything about it either...it really isn't very fun so why would I force it on others?

Title?

I've been wanting to post something for awhile, but not really sure what to say.  My mind has been swimming lately... so many things, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's just doing some laps around the pool and no one has told it to get out so it's still going.

Open Door Policy

Some of you may have noticed that not only have I been blogging a lot recently but that a lot of the posts have been fairly open or deep in my thinking.  It's true, I've been thinking a lot more lately but I've also wanted to share my thoughts...I blame it all on one of my friends...but in a good way.  You see, I've been a lot more open with this friend and find that I just want to let it all out.  I'm not necessarily sure why I do this other than the fact that it feels like I should and a few other reasons that I'm not so open about with the whole world.  Anyways, I blame this friend because the barrier has been broken, the wall has been breached, the door has been opened that only a very select few have been able to do and this friend not only accomplished this but has now left it open for others to come in as well.  It's been a good thing.

The thought that I wanted to share tonight is again information that I wouldn't necessarily just share with everyone but I've been thinking about it recently and want to just put it out there.  You see, I have had several conversations over the years about dating and even dating strategies.  Some people are very strategic about dating while others are not.  I find people's dating ideas and ideals to be interesting.  Other conversations have even included dating styles.  The most well-known would be the shotgun approach versus more of a sniper rifle.  I never really could peg myself as either one of those, maybe on some occasions I would take a few steps one way or the other, but not really my focus.  Someone pointed out that I'm probably more of a trapper.  (I encourage my roommates to use more of a guerilla warfare approach...they don't ever listen to me though, I wonder why?)  In following the analogy of Trapper Julie, I find that it probably does better match my personality/style.  In a recent conversation, it was brought up that  I'm not very aggressive in dating, that's just not me.  So, in being a trapper, I do lure in a few but I am quite the humanitarian and unless my "captives" tell me they want to stay, I usually let them go (quite easily at times).

So there you have it folks...more insight to Julie with just the right amount of crypticism (see I even included a made-up word).

Dear Parents

Dear Parents,

I understand that you love your children and that you want the best for them, but you also need to keep in mind that they are your children and need to learn from you as well.  The question is, what are you teaching them?  Are you teaching them that it is more important to have fun than working hard even if you may not enjoy the work?  Are you teaching them that if you complain loud enough that you will eventually get your way no matter who else it may affect?  Are you teaching them to blame others for their mistakes?  Are you teaching them respect or disrespect for those that are around them and what those people do?  Are you teaching them to be responsible for what they have been asked to do?  Are you teaching them to take pride and care in their work?  Are you teaching them the importance of being polite even if another person bugs them?  Are you teaching them to share and to cooperate?

Again, I know that you love your children and that you would do almost anything for them, but by doing some things for them, you are taking away their right to learn.  They have a right to learn from their mistakes.  They have a right to learn responsibility.  They have a right to learn about others and how they are affected by others' decisions.  They have a right to experience the consequences of their actions.

Please don't take away these important lessons.

Love,
A person who cares for your children very much and wants the best for them as well

Visiting Teaching

Wow, I just had one of the best visits from a visiting teacher ever.  She doesn't quite know this yet, but she told me exactly what I needed to hear.  I always think that it's ok that I'm not visit taught all of the time because I'm doing ok and I have a pretty good support system from my roommates, friends, family, and coworkers, but from tonight I know that I even need good visiting teachers too.  I don't ever refuse visits, they just don't happen all of the time.  Lately I have felt that I could be and should be doing so much more in my life, calling, and work and it's been bringing me down.  This sister probably didn't even know what she was saying or why she was saying it, but it really hit home and I realized how I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing and I am as successful as others have been trying to tell me.

Science Fair

Today was the science fair.  I have a headache.  Science fair day is always an interesting experience.  The 5th and 6th graders work on projects over a 2-month period of time and then present them to their classes all morning, we have an assembly before lunch and then the rest of the day is me getting to babysit my class as they have the school walk through our classrooms to see all of the projects.  The day is finally over and I have learned that girls think differently than boys, Sally Hansen is the better nail polish to buy if you don't want it to chip, you should use all of the ingredients in a cookie recipe, and Pampers are better than Huggies.
Also, remember some of that school drama I had a few weeks ago?  Part of it was due to some parents being mad at me because I told them that their child's project wasn't appropriate for our science fair as it was mostly a research project and didn't go through the scientific process.  They decided to go over my head and talk to my principal who told them I was right, but still told them they could do the project.  Well, guess who ended up changing their project...yep, even after all of that craziness.

Allowing Myself a Little Pride

I'm going to allow myself a little pride in this post.  I never really let myself build myself up (not that I knock myself down) as I'd rather spend the time looking for ways to make others look better.  In the last few years I've been recognized, been awarded, and been a finalist for quite a few awards, but I never really feel as if I deserve or earn them because I figure there's probably someone out there who is better than me.  I've realized lately that I think that because of all the things I do to earn these recognitions they really don't seem that amazing or all that difficult to me, they're all things that I'm supposed to be doing anyways and they all seem fairly simple or easy to me.  In talking to friends about these things, they all seem pretty impressed but also confused that I'm not impressed myself.  With all of these conversations and my friends trying to convince me that I'm pretty hot stuff, I realized that I kinda am.  These things that come so easily to me are things that other people don't think are easy.  I've seen this in more than just school, but life in general.  Math comes fairly easy to me.  I can understand difficult concepts fairly well.  I know how to do physical tasks.  I was taught and I remember some somewhat random things.  I get frustrated with people sometimes because I don't realize that what comes so easy for me isn't always so easy for others.  I think it helps when I look at things that are difficult for me but seem to come so easily to others.

Fonts

I had a conversation with my roommates today about how I write my name and it led to a discussion on fonts.  For those of you who don't know, I do not like to put a "hat" (aka a "serif") on my capital J, in fact, I feel as though my name is spelled wrong if it includes a "hat".  I remember my first grade teacher telling us that the capital J and I had little "hats" but that they were optional, I was glad to hear this because I did not like the look of a hat on my J.  Later on in high school, my dad taught a lesson in my art class (yes, I took a class from my dad in high school, two actually) about fonts including both serif and sans serif fonts and from then on I felt justified in not putting a "hat" on my J or even capital I's.  I don't like mixing serif and sans serif text, in fact I prefer sans serif, it just looks cleaner and more simple.  My favorite is Calibri.


(Yes, I know this blog is written in a serif font, I didn't have a better option.)

Books and Trends

Being a teacher, I witness some very interesting things sometimes.  Kids are funny whether they mean to or not.  It's also interesting to see what kids pick up on.  I find that I set a few trends with my students each year, purely by them observing me because I don't ever talk about these things.  The most prevalent is the type of writing utensil I use.  I tend to find new pens that I like using and I change it up every few years, but no matter what, by the end of the year, I see those pens everywhere in my classroom!  I think it's funny, but at the same time I sometimes question if they just picked up my pen or if they went out and bought that pen specifically because I use it.  These observations lead me to then think about what other trends I am setting because apparently I am an example to my students even in the small things like what I choose to write with so how to affect their other choices in life?  Am I doing all I can to be a good example in all areas?  I can't do some things poorly and then turn around and tell my class to do as I say and not as I do.

Another thought/realization I had at school today is that I don't own one of my favorite books!  One of my students asked if I had a copy of Number the Stars by Lois Lowry in the classroom as she wanted to read it for a book report.  I immediately started beaming because I loved that book when I was in the 5th grade and I read it several times.  Since I loved it so much, I figured, "of course I have that book!"  I started looking through my shelves and when I didn't find it, I searched through my cupboards (I have more books than shelf space sufficient to hold them all at the same time so I rotate them in and out).  When I didn't find it, I went to the database I keep on my computer of all the books I own (I'm glad I started it oh so many years ago because now I have over a thousand...it's what happens when you teach several grades and love to read) and that's when I was severely disappointed in myself.  How could I not own that book?  I guess I will have to start looking for it when it comes through a book order.  I really need to go read it again.

Frustrations

Sometimes I just want to smash things.  Tonight I played racquetball with my roommate, it really turned out to be hit-the-ball-really-hard-and-hope-it-hits-the-wall.  I think it helped, but I still want to hit things.  In case you couldn't tell, I'm really frustrated with something.

Fear

I've been working on this post for the last few days, adding some here and there and then taking more out.  I went to Institute tonight and found out that I really needed to be there because this is what we talked about...

There is one trial in my life that I am constantly working against...fear.  There have been quite a few things that I have not done or have put off doing because of fear and it bugs me so much.  I've realized this more and more over the last ten years or so and I've focussed on identifying and controlling this fear, I've come a very long way.  I don't know where or how some fears start but they do.  I struggle the most when it involves other people whether it be a conversation or a relationship.  I try to hide it, I think I'm successful most of the time.  I hide it mostly for myself because if I'm not seeing the fear, it won't bother me as much.

Institute was based around the stories of Esther and Job, the fears they had to face and the decisions they made in spite of the fear.  It made me think of many things, but mostly that if they could face the fears they faced, I can take care of the small things around me especially because they can do so much good.

Right now, I feel as though Satan is trying to shove as much at me as he can because he's trying to stop me from doing something important...not sure what, but if he's trying this hard it must be something good.