Dang it! I'm a Freakin' Mansion!

I've come to many realizations about myself and my life lately.  I've found that some of these realizations truly are new to me while others have been known for awhile just not fully formed or "vocalized" to myself.  One of my recent realizations is one that I've had at least an inkling towards, but maybe didn't quite want to admit it.  There have been several things in my life that I said I never wanted to do but ended up doing them (live in Utah, go to BYU, get a masters degree, etc.), my recent life has brought about another "not gonna happen" moment going down the drain.  I finally admitted to myself that I never wanted to be any sort of leader or do great/amazing/awe inspiring things.  I've told some people this and they think I'm crazy.  I've done some great things, but it's the great/amazing/awe inspiring things that lead to grand recognition that I never wanted to do, I just don't like the lime light.  I've finally come to grips that I do, have done, and will do some great/amazing/awe inspiring things in my life and I guess it's ok.

These thoughts made me think about a story that has been told in many YW and Sunday School lessons.  It's taken from C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity about how we should see our lives as a living house that God is rebuilding.  We see all of the necessary things like a roof and plumbing taking place and things are all fine and dandy until he comes in with a sledge hammer and starts knocking down walls.  While this is all happening, you're freaking out that you thought your life was just fine as this cute, little cottage with a quaint garden path and he's going at you like nothing else.  In the end, you realize that what you had in mind was not as grand as what He had in mind.  You thought you'd be happy as a little cottage, but He had greater plans for you as He knew you would make a great mansion.  So here I am, finally seeing that I'm not going to be a cottage (as cute as I am as a cottage and perfectly content with the whole cottage idea), instead I'm thinking, "Crap! I'm a freakin' mansion!  Do I have to? Oh, alright, fine!  But can I at least have a water slide or pick the color to paint the bathrooms?"