PAEMST Results

I got an email this week from the National Science Foundation letting me know that I was not selected for the PAEMST award.  I know a lot of people are disappointed for me and I guess I am as well (because, really, that would have been cool to say that I won a national award and got to go to DC), but at the same time I am kinda relieved.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I applied and was selected as a finalist and all, but at the same time, there is a silver lining:

1. I don't have to go to DC in a few weeks which means I don't have to write more sub plans
2. I wouldn't have to sit through meetings that would most likely be boring to me (I really love teaching, but I can only handle talking about teaching for so long)
3. I don't have to worry about what to wear...it's supposed to be a pretty fancy and professional thing and it's all week...day and night...that's a lot of outfits!
4. I don't know how to get this point across without sounding weird or bad or whatever so let me just mention a few things and I think you can figure it out: As I was going though the application process I had to tell about my experiences, professional development, and outreach to the community, etc.  Yeah, I'm a pretty awesome person and I've done some great things, but I really didn't feel all that qualified having only taught for 8 years (at the time it was only 7) and knowing that I could be doing more.  In going to the banquets in February, I realized that the others that were finalists were like crazy involved even in other countries.  Hearing all the things they did and were doing, it felt way too stuffy and I kept thinking "don't you know how to have fun?"  So, I guess, I feel like I'd be around a bunch of people I couldn't relate to if I went to the big thing in DC...maybe I'm too young or not grown up enough, but that's how I feel.

I'm sure there's more than that, but those were my biggest points of relief.  Yeah, I'm sad I didn't win, but it's ok, if anything it shows me that I am pretty awesome to get as far as I did and that I also have some areas I can focus on now.  Everyone keeps encouraging me to reapply next year, but my response is no thank you.  It's quite the application process and there are definitely some areas I would want to work on and strengthen before I try again (if I try again...once was enough to say that I did it).